We Don't Serve a Logical God

There have been times this blog has made me angry. Every time I type out a post that I’m proud of I go to grab a picture and when I see Ellie, this beautiful perfect creation God designed, I grow angry that he took something so perfect from us. Why didn’t He save her?

This mentality is something we can so easily fall into, of looking at what we can receive rather than how we can give.

We sing about how He’s a good, good father. We read about how He will never abandon us nor forsake us. We hear real life testimonies of Him preforming miracles in other people’s lives. And yet there comes a moment where we’re standing face to face with the realization that the same God didn’t show up for our own miracle. Logically, that’s really hard to make sense of.

But we don’t serve a God of logic. If God could logically be understood there wouldn’t be any reason to have faith. Faith by things you cannot see. That was Ellie’s middle name, for reasons far greater than we understood when we named her.

It’s a strange concept to feel the love of God more powerful than ever in the middle of your tragedy.

Many Christians have forgotten the purpose of following the life of Jesus. It’s not what Jesus does FOR us, it’s what He does IN us that we take and share with the world, pointing them back to Him.

I’m not still standing because I’m strong. Trust me, I’ve never felt weaker. I’m still standing because of the shifts that have happened in my heart through the Holy Spirit. I’m still standing because of the millions of tears I’ve let fall and surrendered to Him. I’m still standing because I had no we’re else to turn, except to focus on Jesus.

The Christian walk isn’t about what you receive, it’s about what you can give. It’s about serving others, loving on others, and drawing more people to the One who created us all.

Sometimes I hate that this is my mission. I still don’t think it’s fair that I have to be the one to experience this. That my husband and my girls have to experience this. It’s heartbreaking and painful every second of every day. I don’t know why God allowed this to happen. But I do know that must mean He saw something greater than what we can currently see. He sees the full picture while we live out only a chapter at a time.

While we are in the midst of the storm, He sees the day the sun will shine again and the clouds will disappear. It is in the middle of the storm that we will experience Him like ever before. For now, I will cling to that. I will keep chasing the sun with everything I have left.

“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus.” Acts 20:24